What’s Hot and What’s Not about the honeymoon period  

So you’ve scored yourself a significant other. Things are going well and you find yourself in uninterrupted romantic bliss. The honeymoon period, which typically lasts 6-12 months, can be the most exciting. You’re getting to know one another, you’re spending quality time together and you may be pinching yourself to believe that it is actually real. But, the honeymoon period can turn your world upside down. Keeping the vibe alive can be hard work. Let’s look at what’s hot and what’s not about the honeymoon period. 

Maintaining the goddess

He’s just phoned to surprise you and announces he will be at your house in 10 minutes! You haven’t washed your hair in four days, you’ve just eaten a garlic infused yiros, and you’ve been cleaning the bathroom in your 10 year old sweatpants. Time is ticking and you have moments to transform into a goddess (heaven forbid he sees you just as you are!) You run to the shower, wash your hair whilst frantically maintaining ‘Nut Bush City’. Your stress levels have peaked. You throw on a dress, chuck on some bronzer and scrounge through your washing basket for your sexiest knickers. Knock on the door, he’s here, you take a deep breath and greet him with an adoring kiss. He compliments you and you’re like “Oh this old thing, I’m sorry I’m a little daggy”. Little does he know the rapid effort you have expelled to look ‘effortlessly beautiful’.

Toilet dilemmas

You’ve been out for dinner and mistakenly eaten that amazing green curry that you know definitely doesn’t agree with you. You’re freaking out knowing that he’s going to want to come back to your place. You get home, passionately kissing, and then your stomach starts to twist. Oh no, not now! You dash to the bathroom and search for some Imodium but it’s too late. Even worse you forgot to buy air freshener this week. You need him out. Stat. It’s too soon for such exposure. You think of an excuse for him to leave as your intestines contract uncontrollably. He’s left, you close the door and run to the loo. You sit there, you just make it. Phew! Close call.

Just a salad, thanks

Your former single self would order Uber Eats a couple of times a week. Why not? You are the only one seeing yourself in your birthday suit. But now it’s different. Your stomach is full of butterflies and you know there is a likely chance that someone else is going to see you naked. You both go out for dinner and you pick at a salad. You want to be a skinny minny for the big event. You’ve starved yourself for days, living off crackers and water. You wonder if he can notice? Suddenly it’s time, you’re about to do the deed. And then, overcome with complete malnutrition….you faint.

What’s sleep?

You’re staying over at your new boo’s house. It’s exciting, no more nights alone. Finally. But, you can’t sleep. You’re used to sleeping alone. He seems to have drifted off quickly. He’s even orchestrated a slight, rhythmic snore. You’re wrapped up in each other’s arms. Yes, it feels nice. But, you usually sleep on your side! You eventually make a move to the other side of the bed; he wakes and thinks you want to do the deed again, so you do. Then he drifts off within moments and you have to start the whole process again.

The honeymoon period can be the best time in your relationship. But, after this stage can be even better. You feel comfortable, at ease and can just be you… sweatpants, no make up, eating takeaway and bingeing on Netflix. The right person will love you for you (yes, even if you do ‘number twos’) so relax, be authentic and enjoy the ride!

Advertisements

What’s Hot and What’s Not on the first date.

One last check in the mirror, you grab your wallet and your keys and you dash out the door, all while thinking “Why am I doing this again?”.

You have agreed to meet him or her for the first time. You may have met online or have been set up by friends who have sworn “you’ll be perfect for each other!” Either way, you now find yourself minutes away from the dreaded ‘first date’ experience.

The first hello

Butterflies are churning as you walk to the bar, café or restaurant. You have already decided you want to arrive early so you can casually sit and pretend to scroll Facebook whilst you scope out everyone that walks past, heart pounding.

Then, within an instant there they are. At that very moment you seem to either accept or reject what you see. What the hell is she wearing? Where are his teeth? Great! She’s covered in make up. Damn! He’s shorter than me.

Mind games begin as you approach each other. How will you greet? Do you handshake, just say hi or give a quick side bro hug?

Just one drink, thanks 

You will mostly know in an instant if there is an attraction. Is he a dud at first sight? Does she scare you? Oh no! How long do you have to stay?

The first date blanket rule is one hour. Each of you has made an effort to meet and any less will be seen as rude. Ok, he may be missing teeth, she may be drunk, he may be super short greeting you with the grinding “How is ya love!” but research suggests that one hour is the minimum time you should spend together.

However, if they are narcissistic, mean, rude, cruel or self centred then please, leave at will. But otherwise staying for the date may surprise you, as you may find out more about them in the hour that makes you sway the other way.

The small talk

So begins the interview process. You either take the lead or cannot seem to get a word in. Where do you live? Do you have kids? And most importantly, do you have a job? In a perfect scenario the conversation flows, you feel instantly at ease, you laugh, connect and learn about each other.

Or, conversation is like pulling teeth. You have nothing in common. You receive one word answers and there are awkward silences, as you arduously continue to stir sugar in your coffee trying to sweeten the date.

A side of personality please

Not all can be determined by looks and conversation. It’s time to observe. How do they interact with the waiting staff? Are they warm or arrogant? How engaging are they? Are their arms crossed and never look you in the eye? Why don’t they smile?

You hope for someone kind, intelligent, thoughtful, funny, grounded but instead you may be meeting with someone who keeps “Some rules for killing people” as top pick on their bookshelf (true story!).

When to run

Listen to the red flags.

You’re mid conversation and they have fallen off their chair, intoxicated, stoned or other. They may sit playing on their phone whilst bagging their ex and furious how they are due in court next week. None of their stories add up, you feel they may still live with their partner and you can’t make sense of their life. Or, they live in a back shed, have no job and they’re a self proclaimed horticulturist, growing weed for a living. They may insult you, calling you obese or too thin or at the end of the date they don’t offer to pay, only to dash and leave you with the bill.

All of these should send alarm bells! You have to remind yourself not to lower your standards and trust in the process of meeting the right person.

When to stay

You will just know. Time passes by and you chat for hours. They make you feel comfortable and are respectful. They may not be Chris Hemsworth or Margot Robbie but they are engaging, thoughtful, with a little bit of your type of sexy. They won’t ask to sleep with you but cherish the getting to know you process. They will align with you and your values.

And just hopefully it will be your last first date and you live happily ever after.

But, maybe not and you’ll be doing the same thing all over again next week.

 

I encourage you to comment if you liked this post or would like to share your experiences. I’d love to hear from you.

What’s Hot and What’s Not on an online dating profile

Want more success in this baffling world of online dating?

Online dating can be dating on steroids. There are literally thousands of singletons shopping online for a prospective partner, swiping from left to right trying to find their perfect match. You may have experienced online dating and given into the online dating game, or you may have simply decided “Hell no! I’ll just buy another cat”.

For those lucky ones who have met your loves online, congratulations! Yes, it does happen. But for others bravely surrendering to the online meet and greet, you may have found yourself couch bound, wearing your onesie, endlessly trawling through profiles and messages, only to have people go MIA with a single date never coming into fruition.

After hearing countless stories of people who have experienced this online paradox, it’s clear that it is not an easy process to meet your guy or gal. It’s a continual interview process; you can feel like a frustrated used car salesman constantly delivering the same repetitive, ‘buy me now’ sales pitch, not realising you might be pitching to a lemon.

Let’s take a look at what’s hot and what’s not when creating a perfect online profile.

Main profile pic

We can be fickle creatures, but reality is, appearance counts. Your main profile pic is perhaps the most important thing on your profile. It can mean the difference between an instant yes or no. Make sure your main pic is just of you, highlighting your best features (preferably clothed and with your head in the shot!). Show your eyes, smile, and an expression. That’s a no to mug shots; on-liners want to know you haven’t just strolled straight out of prison.

Pic’s with the opposite sex

Is that a picture of you with your sister, your brother or your best friend? If you post a picture with your arm around someone of the opposite sex people will immediately think it’s your ex and that you haven’t moved on. It’s human instinct to think they may be competition, and we draw a comparison to ourselves. So, fella’s no images with your arms around the waist’s of those hot Grid girls and ladies skip that pic with the hottie you met at that drunken hens night. People are gonna swipe left.

Group photos

Some profiles only have people in a group setting. Yes, it’s great to see you have a social life, but which one are you? Are you the guy giving the bird at the festival or the girl with a serious pout with her hand on her hip? Dating apps are so saturated with thousands of profiles, people will not be bothered to ask which one you are.

Location, location, location

Where you take your photo counts. Are you in the bedroom? Make your bed. The bathroom? Don’t capture the toilet. In bed? Just no. Evidence suggests you are also narrowing your chances with selfies flexing at the gym, pulling a duck face, or gazing at the lense lustfully, shirtless, laying on your pillow. Successful location photo’s are of doing things you love; the beach, riding, surfing, camping or at a party (not wasted!). Make sure you show what makes you, you.

Possessions

Do you have an impressive car, house or boat? Have you caught a whopping big fish? Fabulous, happy for you, but on your profile people want to see you, not your possessions.

Kids

Photo’s of children on your profile is a no-no! Keep your family safe. Write in your bio if you have kids but don’t post them on the Internet. There’s nothing funny about that.

Grammar

Make your English teacher proud! Use punctuation. Know the difference between there, their and they’re. It sounds pedantic, and we are not all grammar Nazi’s but, it can mean the difference between whether you’re going to get a swipe or your profile is leaving you dateless.

Full body shot

Include a body pic as self conscious as you may be (again, clothed). Many profiles are full of selfie’s of people showcasing different angles of their face, and sometimes with the same expression. For those of you hesitant to post a body shot, remember that you may meet the person one day. Be proud and realistic of what you look like.

Your bio

People want to read a well-versed bio. This is a perfect opportunity for you to say who you are, your intentions and to sell yourself. After all, you’re a catch right?! A well-written profile can be the deciding factor for someone wanting to contact you. Try to make an effort, don’t simply write ‘just ask’, ‘it’s hard to talk about myself’ or ‘I’ll write this later’. Be honest with what you want. Do you want a relationship, a date or a fling? Clarifying this can save you time and attract the right person who is on the same page. Also, express who you are. Are you active, creative, social? But, don’t put anything too personal, especially not your phone number, this is asking for trouble. Wait till you connect and for that first date!

Snapchat filters

This one is mostly for the ladies. Sorry girls but research shows that guys want to see you for who you are, not animated as a dog or with stars or flowers around your head. They want to see you, the real you.

“Fish” pics

Last on the list, but by no means least important, it’s well known that online dating can cause a girl to receive a lot of “fish” picks. This is generally not what excites a lady, in fact it can cause an instant block. So guys keep some mystery and save it for the bedroom. And remember, it’s not the size that counts….

So, time to sign up or revamp that profile. It’s hard to stand out from the crowd. Be honest, be real, be you, and you’ll woo on the web and finally score that love at first sight.

Need help with your dating profile? Contact me and I’ll be your ultimate wing woman, we can work together and make your profile shine!

I encourage you to comment if you liked this post or would like to share your experiences. I’d love to hear from you.